


Steady As We Go

by aces_low



Series: Unlocked Doors [3]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Making Out, Romance, Texting, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:19:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: After Brad and Walt hook up Ray struggles to make things right again. Walt retreats, while Brad is clueless when it comes to relationships.And Nate is just trying to be a good boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Third installment to the Unlocked Doors series. Though technically it's second chronologically.
> 
> This story takes place toward the end of January, the second semester of school. Ray and Walt are sophomores, Nate and Brad are Juniors.
> 
>  
> 
> This is not meant to represent the real men, it is based off the characters of the HBO War series.

There’s a tapping against Ray’s nose. He wipes at it and sniffs at the tickling sensation. His eyes stay closed easily, so he chooses to ignore the tapping for now, already feeling himself drifting back to sleep. 

Only, before he can, there is a light pressure against his cheek, then his forehead, then his nose and his chin and his neck. He grins against the sensation of Nate’s soft lips against him. 

Ray sighs and leans closer toward where the kisses are coming from.

“Ray,” Nate’s smooth voice cuts through the tired haze of Ray’s partially asleep brain and he feels himself coming closer to the surface of consciousness. “Wake up.”

“Mmm’wake,” Ray mumbles, opening his eyes to find Nate laying on his side next to him.

He grins and shuts his eyes again, but he quickly feels the tapping against his nose again.

“No, don’t go back to sleep.”

“M’not,” Ray argues, though it comes out slurred and he can’t find the energy to open his eyes again.

“Ray, look at me,” Nate says, and Ray can feel Nate’s thumb running a line across his cheek.

So, Ray opens his eyes again to take in his boyfriend, who has no doubt already been awake for almost two hours. He’s freshly showered and looks wide awake in a way Ray can never comprehend, no matter what time they wake up.

The more awake Ray becomes the more he can feel the cold of the bedroom, outside of the cocoon of blankets he’s wrapped himself in.

But before Ray can burrow down deeper into them, Nate seems to read his mind and pulls him closer into him.

“You gotta get up, baby, you have class in an hour.”

“Nhhh,” Ray whines, but wraps his arms around his traitorous boyfriend anyway, trying to steal all the warmth he radiates.

“C’mon, remember you still gotta run back to your place and get your books,” Nate reminds him, carding his fingers through Ray’s hair, and if he thinks that’s helping Ray want to wake up he’s an idiot.

“I don’t _have_ to go to class today, we’re not gonna go over anything important,” Ray tries to reason. “It’s only the second week.”

“Nope, that’s a bad habit to fall into, Ray,” Nate says, letting him go and rolling back off the bed, ignoring Ray’s noise of protest. “I’m not gonna let you stay over on weeknights if you start skipping out on morning classes.”

“Oh, my god, are you my dad?” Ray groans, digging his head into the warm pillow underneath him. 

Instead of responding, Nate just pulls the covers off of Ray, exposing him to the cold room.

Ray gasps and huddles himself into the fetal position.

“You’re a monster,” he tells Nate.

“Up!” Nate demands, pulling on his arm until Ray relents and stands.

“God, whatever happened to morning blowjobs?” Ray asks, still a little blurry-eyed and wobbly on his feet.

Nate grins and wraps his arms around him to keep him steady. “Morning blowjobs are for when we have time and it’s not 10 degrees outside.”

“Well, if you had just skipped your run you could have woken me up sooner and I could’ve helped you work out,” Ray says, leaning in to kiss Nate’s neck.

Nate chuckles. “If I had woken you up an hour ago trying to have sex you would have kneed me in the balls and told me to deal with it myself.”

Ray can’t help but grin because Nate isn’t wrong. “Well…I’m not gonna say that _now_ ,” he assures him, trailing his hand down Nate’s stomach, but Nate stops him when he’s about to reach his destination. 

“Still no time, Ray. Now, get dressed, brush your teeth, and I’ll have coffee and something for you to eat when you’re done.”

Nate kisses him on the cheek and leaves him with a pointed look at the bag Ray had brought with him with clothes to change into. 

Ray sighs, contemplating how tiring it is sometimes having a responsible, thoughtful boyfriend.

 

When Ray comes back into the kitchen after brushing his teeth Nate smiles and ducks his head to give Ray a kiss. Instead of the sweet peck Nate had clearly been going for, Ray quickly deepens it, walking Nate backward until he runs into the cabinets behind him.

Nate pulls away after a moment, hands automatically reaching for Ray’s hips and he tries to give Ray a stern look, which may have worked if there wasn’t such a clear smile attempting to form on his face.

“You’re terrible, you know that?” Nate says with a shake of his head, hands not moving away from Ray’s sides.

Ray grins up at him, pressing himself close to Nate’s front as much as he can. “Or, I’m awesome and just want to help you stay in shape during the offseason. You know I only keep you around for your hot bod.”

Nate just smiles fondly and lifts his hands to cradle Ray’s face, kissing him so soft and sweet that Ray nearly sighs and melts into the touch.

“Can you guys do that literally anywhere other than in front of the coffee?” 

Kocher’s tired voice beside them surprises them enough to pull away and look over.

Nate tightens his arms around Ray and slides them both a few steps to the side, no longer blocking the coffee pot.

Eric just grunts in thanks and pours himself a cup, adding more sugar than even Ray likes in his.

“Rough night?” Ray asks, backing up enough for Nate to drop his hold, and following Kocher into the living room.

Kocher groans, falling onto the couch, just careful enough to not spill his drink.

“You are so lucky Nate doesn’t share a wall with Brad,” he says.

“Ooh, did Brad have a guest over?” Ray tries for coy, sitting in the armchair next to the couch, watching Kocher expectantly.

“I mean, that’s not new or anything, he brings people home all the time. It was just…loud, and all night,” he says, staring at his coffee and shaking his head.

Ray can’t help but cackle. 

Nate walks into the living room, holding a travel mug out to Ray, his eyebrows raised at Ray’s laughter.

“So, apparently Brad brought home a screamer last night,” Ray tells him, taking the offered coffee.

“Oh, no, whoever he brought home wasn’t the loud one,” Eric assures them, looking a bit haunted at the memories. 

That just makes Ray laugh harder. Nate bites his lip, clearly trying not to join in.

“No shit,” Ray finally says once he’s caught his breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Who’da guessed Brad was loud? I wouldn’t have.”

“It’s not usually this bad,” Eric says, wiping a hand over his face. “There were just so many sounds. And it lasted forever. I’m serious, you guys, they’d go for a while and stop and as soon as I was about to fall asleep they’d start back up. I’m gonna kill him.”

Nate looks surprised. “Wait, does that mean whoever it was slept over?” 

“He kicks people out after fucking them?” Ray asks, disappointed in his best friend’s manners.

“I don’t know that he kicks them out, it’s more like a mutually agreed upon separation,” Nate explains with a shrug.

“I don’t think there was any separation last night,” Eric says, staring down at his coffee like maybe it’ll take the memory of all the noises away.

“Now I’m curious to see who this person is.” Ray cranes his head down the hallway where the rest of the bedrooms are.

“Well, that’s too bad, cause you still have to run by your room and get your books, remember?” Nate says, holding out his hand for Ray to take.

Ray groans but allows Nate to pull him up to standing.

Before Ray can kiss Nate to distract him for another couple of minutes there is a sound of a door being shut softly that makes all three of them turn toward the hallway.

Ray is trying to think of the best way to greet Brad’s newest conquest when they emerge from the hallway. He doesn’t have time to get over his shock before Nate covers Ray’s mouth with his hand.

“Hey, Walt,” Nate says smoothly, ignoring the look of absolute horror on Walt’s face at seeing his three friends. “There’s still some coffee left if you want any.”

“Uh, I…actually g-gotta get going…I…thanks though,” he stutters out, ducking his head and sidestepping around Ray and Nate, slipping on his coat and closing the front door behind him before anyone can say anything else.

“Holy shit,” Kocher finally breaks the silence, still looking at the door. 

“This is great!” Ray says, pulling away from Nate’s grip. 

He struggles to throw his own coat on as he also tries to slip his shoes on and grab his bag and coffee.

“Wait, don’t you want breakfast?” Nate asks, helping Ray pull his arm through the sleeve of his coat.

“No,” Ray nearly exclaims, he can’t waste another second, he has to catch up with Walt. 

He presses a quick, hard kiss to the corner of Nate’s mouth, gives a vague backward wave toward Kocher, and is out the door nearly as fast as Walt.

The January weather is bitter cold and the wind stings his face, but he barely notices that as he chases after Walt down the sidewalk towards campus.

Keeping his coffee out of the way he runs and jumps on Walt’s back, startling his friend enough to nearly knock them both on their asses.

“Get off,” Walt says, once he realizes it’s Ray that’s jumped on him.

“What the fuck, homes? You run outta there like the house is on fire when you know we gotta have a nice long gab-session. We’re gonna have to skip class, just don’t tell Nate,” Ray tells him, falling into step with Walt now.

“I’m not skipping class.”

Ray rolls his eyes and groans. 

“Fine, but I want all the gory details after.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

Ray quirks an eyebrow at Walt. “Uh, you just hooked up with Brad, the guy you’ve been into for over a year. And from what I heard you rocked his fucking world.”

He holds his arm up for a high-five but Walt just ducks around him and rounds the corner toward the dorms.

“Stupid,” Walt mumbles, wrapping his arms around himself a little tighter against the cold air.

“What was that?”

“I said it was stupid,” he says again, opening the door to the dorm building.

Ray frowns but follows him inside, his face and hands prickling from the warmth on his cold skin.

“What do you mean?” 

Walt ignores him, pushing the up button for the elevator over and over again until the light blinks.

They wait for the doors to open and step inside, Ray unable to keep his eyes off Walt who is being uncharacteristically quiet and short this morning.

“What happened?” Ray asks when the doors are closed and it’s just the two of them again.

Walt sighs and shrugs. “It was just a stupid thing to do. I’ve been avoiding it this long and…”

He cuts himself off, shaking his head and biting his lip. 

As soon as the doors open on their floor Walt is through them, making his way down the hallway to their room.

“Wait,” Ray starts, taking a moment to wrap his mind around Walt’s words before following him. “You’ve been…avoiding hooking up with him? But you’ve been flirting with him like crazy.”

Walt stops to shush him before pulling out his key to unlock their door.

Ray lets Walt pull him into their dorm room, closing the door behind them. 

“I’ve been flirting because Brad doesn’t date people,” Walt explains, walking to the closet to pull out clean clothes.

He’s not wrong. For as long as Ray has known Brad he has never been on a date. He doesn’t even do the friends with benefits thing. He likes a one night stand and then moves on. For someone who is only just out of his teen years Brad has a lot of hang-ups about relationships.

“So…” Ray trails off, hoping for more information.

“So, I’ve been flirting because I was hoping he’d ask me out. I wasn’t really interested in being just another one night stand. And now, not only did I just make myself another one of his conquests, I did it on a fucking Thursday and I have a Spanish quiz in twenty-five minutes…fuck.”

Walt sits on his bed, staring at the clothes in his hands and Ray is pretty sure he’s never seen him look this upset before.

“Hey, no way was it just a one night stand. Brad likes you, we’ve all seen it. Plus, he’s never hooked up with a friend before, this is different, really.”

Ray wishes he could give more reassurance to Walt. Unfortunately, Brad hasn’t ever shared his feelings for Walt openly with him, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been able to see it. Brad may have some questionable issues with relationships, but his feelings for Walt are clearly beyond platonic, anyone can see that.

“So…how did it happen?” he asks when Walt continues to just stare at his hands.

“Uh, I was at ‘Godfather’s’ with some people from my Chem Lab and Brad was there and came over to say hi. We ended up hanging out and talking for a while and then he invited me back over to the house to hang out, watch TV or whatever. As soon as we got there he kissed me and basically all my common sense went out the door. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Cheer up, buddy. From what I’ve heard there’s no way he’s gonna be done with you after the night you guys apparently had,” Ray says, throwing an exaggerated wink to Walt who just groans and hides his face.

“I’m never gonna be able to show my face over there again.”

Ray frowns. “Uh, are you forgetting the number of times you all have walked in on Nate and me? Yeah, I think Kocher will be able to handle the fact that you made Brad moan like a whore.”

Walt shakes his head. “It’s different. You and Nate are together. I’m just some…”

“Some what?” Ray asks when Walt doesn’t continue.

“I gotta get to class,” Walt says again, grabbing his toothbrush and clothes and heading to the connected bathroom, closing the door behind him before Ray can think of anything else to say.

For now, he has to get to class too.

 

Walt isn’t there when Ray gets back, which isn’t totally unusual, but Ray still decides to text him to see if he wants to meet up for lunch before their afternoon classes.

While he’s waiting for Walt to respond, he gets a text from Nate asking him if he has any pre-Socratic philosophy books.

Ray would roll his eyes if Nate were there in person, instead he just smiles fondly at his phone before texting back.

Ray:  
_For a class? Or cause ur a nerd?_

Nate:  
_It was brought up today but I don’t think we’ll be going into it much more and I’d like to read more about it_

Ray:  
_Nerd <3 _

They text back and forth for a few minutes before Walt finally gets back to him, saying that he’s going to pass on lunch. Ray frowns, worried Walt is avoiding him, but there’s not much he can do about it at the moment.

So instead he texts Brad.

Ray:  
_Meet me for lunch asshole_

 

Brad walks into the sandwich shop they’d agreed to meet at, ducking his head so his gigantic frame can clear the door. He removes his gloves, shoving them into his pockets, as he walks over to where Ray has saved them a seat.

“So, I heard you had a good night,” Ray says as Brad sits.

Brad pauses in his movement for a moment before sighing and removing his coat before he responds.

“Walt told you,” he asks, though there’s no question in his voice.

“Mm, technically Kocher told me.”

Brad narrows his eyes.

“Well, he was telling Nate and me all about the sounds that kept him up all night when Walt came out to do his walk of shame.”

Instead of responding, Brad just huffs and stands, making his way up to the counter to put in his order. Ray doesn’t follow, just waits for Brad to come back before he jumps right back in.

“Are you gonna call him?”

“I don’t call people,” Brad says with a grimace at the very idea of it.

Ray rolls his eyes. “Fine, text him, whatever.”

“What would I text him?” Brad asks, playing with the straw in the water he’d gotten.

“You’re an asshole. Seriously? You’re gonna treat Walt like just another guy you picked up at a bar? He’s your friend, dude.”

“Yeah, he’s my friend, who I never text, so why would I start now?”

Ray shakes his head, but before he can say anything his number is called, so he goes up and grabs his food.

They don’t say anything while Ray digs into his food and Brad goes up to get his own just a few minutes later. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Ray says when Brad sits back down.

“What?” 

“I know you’ve liked Walt since the minute you laid eyes on his twink ass.”

“You’re the last person who can call anyone else a twink,” Brad points out after taking a bite of his sandwich. “I used to call guys like Walt twinks, but you’re a whole new level of twink.”

Ray throws one of his chips at him, hitting him square on the forehead. Brad just grins.

“You’re avoiding the subject,” Ray points out.

“I don’t remember inviting you into my love life.”

Ray scowls. “You invited me in when you decide to fuck my other best friend. Do you know what kind of weird position this puts me in now?” Ray asks, instead of the slew of curses that are coursing through his head at Brad’s complete dismissal of Walt.

“Why does this change anything?” Brad asks, sounding genuinely confused and Ray can only stare at his best friend for a full minute.

“So, you’re planning on seeing him again?”

Brad shrugs. “As much as I always do.”

“Don’t pull this shit, Brad. Don’t act like a one night stand between you two is all there is. From what Kocher was saying it sounds like you’d be ready for round two.”

Brad’s smirk is finally gone now. “What I do and don’t do with the people I hook up with isn’t any of your business. I don’t do relationships, everyone – including Walt – knows this.”

Ray huffs and leans back in his seat.

 

When he gets back from his last class of the day Walt is in their room, sitting on his bed with headphones on and watching something on his computer.

“Hey,” Ray says, waving his arm to get his attention.

Walt pauses whatever he’s listening to and takes his headphones off.

“Hey, some of the guys are gonna go to ‘Matilda’s’ tonight, want to come?”

Walt shakes his head. “I have plans.”

“With who?”

“Friends.”

“What friends?” Not that Walt doesn’t have friends outside of Ray and their friends, but he usually chooses to hang out with Ray more often than not.

“Friends,” Walt repeats with a glare.

“Fine, well you and your friends should meet up with us there later.”

Walt bites his lip and looks down at his computer for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“So, you’ll meet us there?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you later.”

“Ok…” Ray watches him for a moment, but he doesn’t appear to just be agreeing so that Ray will get off his back, so he lets it go.

Ray stuffs a handful of clothes into his overnight bag, knowing he has a habit of not making it back to his dorm room during the weekend. And makes his way toward the door before turning back to Walt.

“So, I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Yeah, man, I’ll see you there,” Walt says again before putting his headphones back on, signaling the end of any more conversation.

 

The club is noisy and crowded like all clubs tend to be, but Ray doesn’t mind since it just gives him an excuse to be all up on Nate. 

He’s taken to alternating between stealing sips of Nate’s drink and getting overly handsy just to see Nate’s already flushed face even redder, not that he can see it as well in the poor lighting.

He’s just attempting to open a few more buttons on Nate’s shirt when he feels someone come up beside him.

Ray looks over to see Walt.

“You came!” Ray exclaims, pulling away from Nate to throw his arms around Walt.

Walt laughs but hugs him back. “I told you I would,” Walt reminds him when he pulls away.

“I know, but you could have been lying,” Ray says, still holding on tight to Walt’s arms. Still so thrilled that Walt showed up tonight. He’d been worried and maybe drank a little too much because of that worry, that things were going to be weird between Walt and Brad.

“Alright, let’s let Walt go, huh?” Nate tries to grip Ray’s hand to pull him off Walt, but Ray just tugs Walt back into a tight hug.

“Walt is one of my best friends, and I love him!” Ray yells to be overheard over the music and he can feel Walt vibrate with laughter in his arms, but he doesn’t care that they think he’s being ridiculous, he’s drunk and feels good and is just happy that his friends are happy.

“I know you do, babe,” Nate says from behind him and Ray can feel him tugging on his arms before Walt steps away and Ray is forced to let go.

He turns to scowl at his boyfriend, but Nate’s soft grin and the fact that he’s holding out his drink for Ray to take help him forgive.

“Walt just got here, he may want to say hi to some more people,” Nate reminds him, once Ray has finished his drink.

“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Walt says, and Ray turns to see Walt looking around the crowd. “I’ll see you guys in a few.”

He walks away before Ray can say anything else but he’s quickly distracted when Nate wraps his arms around him and leads him a little closer towards where more people are dancing.

Ray grins and puts his arms around Nate’s neck, pulling Nate down for a kiss, hotter and messier than they’d normally share in public, but with the alcohol running through their systems and the perceived privacy of the darkened club they don’t care as much about other people.

When Nate pulls away his eyes are glassy and he looks like he wants to do sexy things to Ray, who is completely on board with that plan.

Only, before Ray can pull him back down Nate’s eyes flicker over his shoulder for a second and he stands up straight, the look in his eyes gone.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Ray asks, turning to see what Nate is looking at.

It doesn’t take him long to spot what has caught Nate’s eye and Ray rolls his eyes because he can see Brad, not too far away, acting far too friendly with some girl Ray is almost positive Brad doesn’t actually know. Though from the way they’re kissing they’re definitely on their way to getting to know each other.

“Do you think Walt’s seen yet?” Nate asks and Ray spins back to look up at him.

“Shit,” he echoes Nate’s words, he hadn’t even thought of that. He really hopes that Walt is too busy to notice.

“C’mon, let’s go find him,” Nate offers and Ray could kiss him again for that.

Instead, he just grabs Nate’s hand and pulls him through the crowd, trying to find a familiar face.

They run into Stafford and Christeson first.

“Have you guys seen Walt?” he yells as they lean in to try to hear him.

Stafford nods and Christeson points farther into the club.

“Yeah, just a few minutes ago, I think he went that way,” he tells them and Nate and Ray make their way through the moving bodies.

They don’t see anyone for a few minutes and Nate suggests they stick to the back of the club so they can try to get a good look at everyone. 

Poke is there, holding two drinks, one for him and one for the girl he’d met earlier.

“Hey, have you seen Walt tonight?” Nate asks as they approach.

“Sure, like ten minutes ago?”

Ray groans and leans against Nate’s side.

“Check your phone,” Nate suggests when they’ve run out of ideas on how to find Walt in the mass of people.

Ray pulls his phone up, but he doesn’t have a missed call or text from Walt, so he tries texting him, asking where he is.

They stand in the back with Poke, and Poke’s new friend when she gets back from the bathroom, waiting for Walt to text back.

A few minutes later Ray feels his phone go off and looks to see Walt’s response.

Walt:  
_I left_

Ray frowns.

Ray:  
_Whd u leav???_

Though he’s pretty sure he knows the reason.

Walt doesn’t respond so Ray tries a different approach.

Ray:  
_Did yu go soomeher elseVv we can met there_

Walt:  
_No I’m just going back to the dorm_

Ray:  
_Want me to com bac??_

Walt:  
_No_

Ray looks up at Nate and shows him his phone.

“Ok, just leave him alone tonight, you can talk to him tomorrow,” Nate says, handing Ray’s phone back to him.

“Or, we could go ambush him and kidnap him and take him back to your place and make Brad stop being an asshole.”

“Brad is never gonna stop being an asshole,” Poke chimes in. “You’ll have better luck with the kidnapping part of that plan.”

The girl he’s with giggles and Poke turns his attention back to her.

Ray huffs and turns back to look at Nate, his shoulders falling. He doesn’t know what to do here, he feels like he’s being a shitty friend, but knows that when Walt says he wants to be left alone, he means it.

“You want to go home?” Nate asks, tugging Ray a little closer and Ray wraps his arms around Nate’s middle, finding comfort in the simple embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m being a buzzkill,” he says, looking up to see Nate’s understanding smile.

“It’s fine, I’m not really in the mood for dancing anyway,” Nate assures him.

“Oh? I was hoping we could dance when we got back to your place.”

Nate smirks. “We’ll see.”

“We’re gonna come with you guys.” Poke’s voice breaks through the bubble that Ray seems to always get lost in when Nate and he are so close.

Nate nods and pulls Ray along with him, stopping off to grab their coats, and then out of the club.

“Should we have let Brad know?” Nate asks once they’re all outside.

The cold air doesn’t feel nearly as bad as it would if Ray wasn’t intoxicated.

“Fuck Brad!” Ray exclaims and leads the way back to the house. 

Poke seems to be on his side as he walks alongside and says, “yeah, white boy could do with learning some manners of his own, he’ll find his way back without us.”

Nate and Poke’s friend – Lisa, Ray thinks she might have said earlier, maybe Liza – follow at a slower speed.

“So, what’d this Brad guy do?” He hears Lisa/Liza ask Nate, and Ray turns around and starts walking backward.

“He fucked my friend last night and now he’s probably off about to fuck an entirely different person tonight,” he explains.

Lisa/Liza grimaces. “Oh, damn.”

Ray is about to go on a rant about how the worst part of it all is just that Brad clearly has feelings for Walt. Big, mushy, heart-skipping-a-beat-when-he-sees-him feelings that he’s so clearly fighting against, but before he can, Ray nearly topples to the ground, tripping over his own feet, but is quickly caught by Poke. 

“My hero,” Ray cries, trying to throw his arms around Poke in thanks, but Poke quickly maneuvers out of his grip, only to have to grab him again as Ray nearly falls due to the quick movements.

“Fick, I think your boy is trying to upgrade,” Poke says, looking back toward Nate and grinning, before getting distracted by having to smack Ray’s hands away from him.

Ray can’t see his face but he can hear Nate’s smile in his voice when he says, “well I guess Laura and I will just have to make do.”

“Laura!” Ray yells, remembering now what her name is, at least he got the ‘L’ right. 

Laura giggles and Ray slips out of Poke’s grip to stumble his way back into Nate, who catches him easily.

“Don’t let him fool you, Laura. Nate is 100% gay for Ray,” Ray tells her, not looking away from his boyfriend’s face.

Nate grins and leans forward to kiss Ray’s forehead.

Poke groans in disgust at the sweet display.

“I think they’re cute,” Laura says, catching up with Poke.

“Yeah, walk in on both of them with their pants down a half dozen times and see if it’s still cute,” he argues, but wraps an arm around her shoulder and keeps walking.

The four of them continue on their way, Ray leading them all in a sing-a-long until they get to Poke and Nate’s house. 

Poke is the first one to the door. When he turns the handle Nate groans.

“Seriously? Nobody thought to lock the door before we all went out?” Nate asks rhetorically, as it’s something everyone in the house is basically incapable of managing.

Instead of responding, Poke steps inside but then immediately takes a step back.

“Oh, what the fuck?” he yells at the same time they hear a feminine shriek.

Laura, Nate, and Ray all rush up to the door and the four of them stumble inside in time to see Brad pulling up his jeans and the girl Ray had seen with him earlier kneeling on the floor below him, holding a pillow over her chest.

“No! Not here,” Poke shouts, stepping further into the living room. “Why do you people insist on trying to find new places in my home to fuck?”

Brad just rolls his eyes and Ray can’t help but try to hide his grin in Nate’s shoulder, knowing most of Poke’s past ire has been directed at Nate and him.

“Relax,” Brad says, watching Poke start to pace up and down their living room.

“Other people use this couch, now I’m gonna be trying to enjoy a game but all I’ll be able to think about is whose bare ass was last there. What is wrong with the perfectly good, private bedroom we all have here?”

“That’s a good idea, I think we should all just calm down and go to our rooms and maybe let Brad’s friend here find her shirt,” Nate says, pulling off his coat and then tugging on Ray’s to help him remove his. Ray allows Nate to do all the work on his coat as he watches the stare-off Brad and Poke seem to be having.

“I’m Laura,” Laura says to the girl still kneeling on the floor with a small wave, in what Ray can only assume is an attempt at some female solidarity in the house full of strange dudes.

“Chelsea,” the girl responds, still clutching the pillow tight.

“Chelsea, make sure you double up on the condoms, there’s no telling where Brad has been,” Ray tells her, and only waits long enough to see her brow furrow before he’s dragging Nate back to Nate’s room, ignoring Brad’s call of “fuck you, Ray.”

“Ray,” Nate chides once they’ve closed the door behind them.

“What? You’re gonna argue against safe sex practices?” Ray asks, reaching for Nate again to finally finish off those buttons he’d been working on earlier.

Once Nate’s shirt is open he grabs Ray’s hands, directing Ray’s gaze back up to his face. He has his serious, dad face on and Ray groans because he’s not interested in getting a lecture tonight.

“Ray,” he says again.

“I’m allowed to be mad at him.”

“You are, but don’t forget he’s your friend too.”

Ray huffs and leans forward, resting his head on Nate’s shoulder. After a minute of just standing in the middle of Nate’s room, Ray grins and begins swaying back and forth.

“What are you doing?” 

“You promised to dance with me when we got back here,” Ray reminds him, attempting to spin them around.

Nate chuckles. “I don’t think I ever promised, and I guess I didn’t realize you meant actually dancing. But sure, we can do this instead,” he says, wrapping his arms more fully around Ray and pressing his cheek to the side of Ray’s head.

“Instead? Oh, wait, no, screw dancing, sex time,” Ray says, attempting to pull back from Nate, but Nate just keeps his hold tight and continues swaying them back and forth.

“Mm, no, I think I’d rather dance,” he teases, kissing Ray’s head, and Ray can feel Nate’s smile against his hair.

Ray sighs but concedes to being rocked back in forth in Nate’s arms for a little while longer. 

 

“Are you mad at me?” Ray finally blurts out after he and Walt have been working on homework in silence for the past two hours.

Walt startles and looks up at him.

“What? No,” Walt says, and there is a sincerity in his response that eases a tension that has been growing in Ray’s stomach for the past week.

“Ok, cool,” Ray says, feeling stupid for bringing it up now. He tries to go back to working on his homework, but he can feel Walt’s gaze on him.

“Why do you think I’m mad at you?”

Ray sighs and sets his book off to the side.

“You haven’t wanted to hang out at all this week and I wasn’t sure if you were mad at me cause I’m still hanging out with Brad.”

“Oh, no I don’t care that you hang out with Brad, I just…if you’re not with Nate you’re with Brad and…” Walt trails off with a shrug.

“Right,” Ray says stupidly, of course, all the times Ray has asked Walt to hang out Brad has also been there, he feels like an asshole. “Well, how about we do something, no Brad involved, I won’t even invite Nate.”

“I don’t care if Nate’s there,” Walt assures him but Ray shakes his head.

“Nope, it’s just gonna be you, me, and maybe Stafford and Garza?” he asks, already picking up his phone to text the other two about meeting up tonight.

Walt grins. “Ok, yeah. Sounds good.”

 

A few hours later, Ray gets a call from Nate, letting him know that they’re having people over. Ray tells him that he won’t be joining them and that Nate and his roommates, especially one in particular, are not invited to join him.

Nate chuckles. “Alright, have fun, call if you need me to come pick you four up off the floor in a few hours.”

Ray gasps in mock protest, but can’t argue too hard with Nate’s assumption. While none of them are technically old enough to legally drink and Q-tip is the only one with a fake ID, they’ve never had a problem getting drinks. Especially when they’re with Walt.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?” the third guy of the night – and they’ve only been at the bar for less than two hours – asks Walt after sidling up next to their table.

Walt smiles, that slightly shy grin – even though he’s really not shy at all in situations like this – that makes all the people in a thirty-foot radius melt just a little. “I’m good, thanks though,” he says, lifting his glass to show that he has more than half his drink left.

The guy frowns. “Are you sure? I can get you one for when you finish that one.”

“Shit man, if you’re buying drinks I’ll take another,” Ray says, holding out his glass to the guy. 

The guy eyes Ray for a moment then looks back to Walt who is trying and failing to hide his grin.

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Garza says, pushing his empty glass to the middle of the table.

Stafford quickly downs the rest of his own and slams it on the table. “Make that three.”

The guy looks around at all of them like he’s hoping they’re all just joking, but they all keep their gazes fixed firmly. He looks at Walt one more time, who is just shaking his head and looking out toward the rest of the bar.

“Right, uh, I guess I’ll be back with some drinks,” the guy says, backing away from their table and heading off.

Garza cackles and Stafford pounds the table a few times.

“What if he actually comes back with drinks?” Walt asks, sounding annoyed but it is undercut by the amused grin on his face.

“Well, then we get free drinks,” Ray says.

“Yeah, but then I’m gonna have to deal with him hitting on me all night.”

Ray shrugs. “He’s pretty cute, why not let him if he’s willing to buy the drinks all night?”

“I’m not…” Walt cuts himself off with a scowl.

“Not what?” Ray prompts, though he has a bad feeling about where Walt is going with this.

“He’s not interested in hooking up with any other guys,” Stafford finishes for him.

“I’m allowed to not want to fuck random strangers,” Walt argues, glaring at Stafford who just shrugs in response.

Ray sighs. “You’ve been pining after Brad for a year, you got him and now it’s over. Don’t waste your whole sophomore year on just one guy. You’re hot, you could get with any guy you wanted.”

Walt narrows his eyes. “You don’t really have any room to talk.”

“What does that mean?” Ray asks, narrowing his eyes right back.

“The only person you’ve ever slept with is Nate, how are you gonna try and tell anyone else that they’re wasting their year by not sleeping with as many people as possible?”

“That’s completely different.”

“Right, because Nate actually wanted you,” Walt says, before finishing the rest of his drink.

“I didn’t –“

“I’m gonna…” Walt trails off as he stands up and walks away from the table.

Ray tries to call after him but he doesn’t turn around. 

Stafford and Garza both send him side-eyed glances and Ray frowns.

“Alright, I’m an asshole, I get it.”

Garza shrugs and Stafford nods.

Only a minute later the guy who had been hitting on Walt returns with an arm full of drinks.

“Where’d he go?” the guy asks as he sets the drinks down.

Ray reaches for his drink and asks, “Who?” 

“The guy, the cute guy that was here.”

“Uh,” Stafford says with a shrug and looks to Ray.

“Do you have a name of this supposed ‘cute guy’?”

The guy scowls. “The guy you were with!”

Garza shakes his head. “This isn’t ringing any bells.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” Ray says. “It’s just been the three of us all night. We sure do appreciate you bringing us some drinks though.”

“Yeah, do you work here? Is this a new service of the bars?” Stafford asks, hiding his smirk behind his drink.

The guy glares at all of them for a moment before turning on his heel in a huff, cursing them out, even leaving his own drink behind with them.

They all laugh and clink glasses. 

 

Walt wanders back to the table about ten minutes later holding a new drink. 

He eyes Ray as he hops back into his chair.

“I’m sorry,” Ray offers before Walt can say anything. 

Walt frowns but nods his head in acceptance. “I’m sorry too, I guess I’ve been moping this past week more than I realized.”

“It hasn’t been that bad,” Ray says, and it hasn’t if it wasn’t constantly on Ray’s mind he might not have even noticed.

“Alright, are you guys gonna kiss and make up or what?” Garza teases, easily knocking the napkin away that Walt launches at him.

 

“Hey, where’s Walt been? I feel like I haven’t seen him lately,” Lilley asks Ray a week later as they walk into the living room from the kitchen.

“Probably the dorm,” Ray tells him before sitting down on the floor next to Nate. 

“Why didn’t he come over?” Rudy asks, making room on the couch for Lilley to sit down.

Ray looks at Brad for a moment, but his face doesn’t betray any sign that he has any feelings about this conversation one way or another and Ray just sighs, leaning against Nate’s arm.

“Uh, I don’t think Walt is gonna be coming over here anymore,” Nate answers for Ray as he wraps an arm around him.

“What? Why not?” Lilley asks.

Poke snorts. “You should ask Brad.”

Brad furrows his brow and looks around at his friends for a moment. “What? I never said he couldn’t come over anymore.”

Ray scoffs and Nate tightens his arm around him.

What gets him the most is how genuinely confused Brad seems in this moment.

“You can’t be this big of an idiot, Brad, you just can’t.”

Brad glares but before he can get a retort out Pappy speaks up.

“What happened?”

“Brad here finally convinced sweet Walt to go to bed with him a couple weeks ago,” Ray explains. “Only, instead of acting like a regular person with a regular person brain and heart, Iceman over here goes and makes out with some chick the very next night right in front of Walt.”

Lilley’s eyes widen and Pappy just shakes his head.

“That’s rough, brother,” Rudy offers.

Brad scowls. “I didn’t make out with anyone in front of him. And does that sound like me saying he can’t come over anymore?”

Poke and Kocher both groan and Ray moves to sit up straight, Nate holds him just a little bit closer.

“So, you’re into hanging out with your one-night stands now, huh? Why don’t you ever invite Chelsea around? Why isn’t that guy Kyle here? Or the one chick with the neck tattoo? What about that guy with the weird chest hair from a few nights ago? Where is he? Why isn’t he over here hanging out?”

“Ok, Ray let’s -“ Nate starts, but Ray tugs himself out of his arms and stands up.

“Maybe Walt doesn’t feel welcome here because you clearly don’t give a shit about him,” Ray nearly yells, leaning into where Brad is sitting.

Brad glares and slowly stands to tower over Ray. Honestly, it’s so unfair, his height advantage just makes everything Ray does look small and pathetic by comparison. He starts to take a step toward Ray, but before he can Nate’s angry voice stops him.

“Hey,” Nate says, standing up and taking a step between Brad and Ray. “Sit down.”

That startles Brad enough to drop his glare and start blinking at Nate.

“What?”

“Sit down.” Nate’s voice is even and smooth as ever, but there’s an edge to it that Ray isn’t used to hearing.

Brad’s eyes shift from confusion, to indignation, to resignation before he sits back down in his chair with a huff.

Everyone in the room is silent as they watch the exchange. Nate stares at Brad for another moment before turning to look at Ray. His eyes darker than normal.

“Let’s go,” he says, maneuvering Ray around and leading him back to the kitchen and into his room.

Ray waits for Nate to close the door behind them before he says, “well that was kind of hot.”

Which does nothing to lighten up Nate’s dark eyes. “I can’t believe he tried to intimidate you like that.”

That makes Ray pause, realizing that’s exactly what Brad had been trying to do. He’s pretty sure it says a lot about their friendship that Ray’s defensive tendencies – honed over years of bullying in both middle school and high school – hadn’t been raised at all by Brad.

“Well, he may have tried to, but he didn’t really succeed. And who knew you were the caveman type?”

Nate frowns at that and studies Ray then. 

“He didn’t freak you out at all, did he?”

“Brad?” Ray scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Nate bites his lip. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of it, I just…when he stood over you like that I kind of snapped.”

“Don’t apologize,” Ray says with a shrug. “I didn’t realize you could be so authoritative, we might need to add that to our list.”

This time, Nate doesn’t bother hiding his smirk at the mention of the list that he has started using whenever Ray has a new sexual experience he wants to try out. Because of course, Nate has a list, it’s color-coded and everything. 

“I never thought you’d be into that kind of thing,” Nate says, tugging at the sleeve of Ray’s shirt.

Ray shrugs. “I didn’t really either until I got to see it in action. But not in real life, don’t get any ideas. I only let you boss me around when it’s more convenient for me.”

Nate smiles. “I know you do,” he says before leaning down to kiss him.

He doesn’t let the kiss linger too long though and Ray has half a mind to just hold him in place but instead lets Nate back away.

“This doesn’t mean that I think you were completely right back there,” Nate says, holding onto Ray’s arms.

“Seriously? You don’t think there’s anything wrong with how he treated Walt?” Ray asks, eyes narrowing as he pulls away from Nate’s grip.

“I didn’t say that,” Nate says, evenly, reaching out to grab Ray’s arms again. “But I also don’t think what he did garners the amount of abuse he’s received from his best friend these last few weeks either.”

Ray gapes. “We always give each other shit.”

“Not like this and you know it,” Nate says, shaking his head.

He wants to argue, wants to tell Nate that he’s wrong and if anything, he’s been too soft on Brad, but he knows that’s not entirely true. If for no other reason than the fact that Ray hasn’t spent any time with Brad one on one since they’d gotten lunch the morning after the incident. Ray feels like he doesn’t know how to interact with Brad right now.

His shoulders fall and he leans forward, trusting Nate to pull him into his arms, which is exactly what he does.

“It’s just stupid, he’s being an idiot.”

“He is,” Nate agrees, rubbing a hand down Ray’s back.

“This isn’t how this was supposed to go,” Ray finally admits after a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been pushing them together for months now, trying to get one of them to make a move because I thought for sure once they got together things would be great. It didn’t even occur to me that Brad would do this, or at least not fuck someone new less than a day later,” Ray explains, gripping Nate’s shirt beneath his hand for a moment before letting go. 

Nate furrows his brow. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?”

Ray ducks his head, not knowing if he agrees with Nate on that one.

“Hey,” Nate says, voice softer now and he pulls away to look at Ray. “They’re gonna be fine.”

Ray nods his head, he knows that somewhere in the back of his mind that it’s true, that it’s not going to be the end of the world if Walt and Brad are never able to get it together, but right now it doesn’t feel that way.

“Baby, look at me,” Nate directs, squeezing the back of Ray’s neck.

When Ray finally looks up his chest feels just a little bit warmer at seeing the soft look in Nate’s eyes.

“I know that you hate seeing your friends upset and that you wanted them to get together, but this isn’t actually your problem to fix,” Nate tells him.

Ray sighs. “You’re right, I know, I need to just leave it alone, stop taking it so personally.”

They stand in Nate’s room like that for another minute, with Nate rubbing his thumb in soothing circles to the back of Ray’s neck.

“Would a blowjob make you feel better?” Nate asks after another moment of silence.

Ray can’t help the grin that spreads across his face, though he tries to tamper it when he shrugs and says, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to try.”

Nate laughs as he reaches down to unbutton Ray’s pants, walking him back toward the bed. 

He pushes Ray onto the bed and pulls his pants and briefs down together and off, shoving at Ray’s shoulder until he backs up and lays himself out.  
His hands slide up Ray’s sides, pushing his shirt along with them, pulling it up over Ray’s shoulders. He leaves a searing kiss against Ray’s lips once he’s completely naked, resting some of his weight on top of Ray. The material of Nate’s clothes feel harsh against his skin and he pushes himself up more, wanting Nate’s full weight holding him down as he mouths against Ray’s neck. 

Instead, Nate slowly slides his lips down Ray’s chest, kissing each nipple before letting his teeth lightly scrape across one, causing Ray to hiss and thrust up again, gripping Nate’s shirt hard in his hand, twisting it for a moment. 

Nate doesn’t linger in his exploration, moving further down Ray’s body. That is until he kisses just above Ray’s bellybutton before pausing in his movements. When he moves again it’s not to continue his trek down, but to pull himself off the bed completely. 

“What?” is all Ray is able to get out, along with a short whine.

“Hold on,” Nate says and walks to the door, quickly locking it.

Ray can’t help but laugh at that. “Good thinking, those voyeuristic fuckers will think of any excuse to barge in on us.”

Nate grins and pulls his shirt over his head as he walks back to Ray.

“Keep going, mister,” Ray says, stopping him from getting back on the bed.

Nate furrows his brow for a moment before he seems to realize what Ray is requesting - or demanding. He smirks as he shoves his pants down alongside his shirt then makes his way back onto the bed.

He slowly crawls his way up in between Ray’s legs, taking Ray’s mostly hard cock in his hand before dragging his tongue up the underside, leaving a short kiss at the tip. Ray sighs at the small tease.

Thankfully, Nate isn’t that much of a tease when it comes to blowjobs, and his full lips wrap around the head of Ray’s now leaking cock faster than he’d been expecting, causing his hips to thrust up for a moment. Nate doesn’t seem to mind, not slowing down at all.

If Ray were to be degrading or at least didn’t care about Nate as a person as much as he does he’d probably say that Nate was made to suck cock. His lips are pretty and pink and wet as they slide up and down. The slight flush on his cheeks and the reddening of his ears always make Nate look sweet and ethereal which is a stunning contrast to see as he goes further and further down on Ray’s cock. And his eyes, usually so clear and light are darkened by the pupils and an almost mischievous look he directs up at Ray. That’s not even to mention his tongue, his hands, the somehow perfect amount of suction and speed he always seems to know what Ray needs, and the moans that vibrate from his throat straight to Ray’s cock.

Ray can’t help but grasp the back of Nate’s head, not to control his movements or to hold him down, just because he needs to touch Nate as his skin feels like it’s on fire and his muscles tense up. 

With one last moan around his cock, Ray almost raises up from the force of his orgasm and he’s sure that everyone in the living room can hear his wanton praise of Nate mixed with whatever nonsense that spills out of his mouth but he feels too good to care.

Ray lays back and tries to catch his breath, which is hard to do when Nate continues to leave kisses along his thigh, his hips, his stomach. 

After a minute, he whines, smacking Nate’s head to get him to move. 

With one small nip at the sensitive skin of Ray’s lower stomach, Nate finally pulls back, sitting up to rest on his heels, wiping a hand across his reddened lips and grinning. 

Ray follows him up, hand on the back of his neck to hold him in place as he licks into Nate’s mouth to taste himself on Nate’s tongue. 

“Up,” he murmurs against Nate’s lips after a few moments.

Nate sighs but moves to rest his weight up on his knees. Ray kisses his way down his neck and his chest, before sitting back further. He takes Nate’s hard cock in hand, stroking a few times before Nate sucks in a breath, bending slightly to rest a hand on Ray’s shoulder, moving it slowly to rest on the back of his neck.

Ray leans forward and down, bending to take Nate in. Nate moans, tightening his grip on Ray’s neck and stooping forward just a little more. 

Nate doesn’t get Ray’s preference for this position, doesn’t see the appeal in the neck pain that goes along with it.

And sure, Ray will admit it’s not the most comfortable way to do this, but it’s the best way he’s been able to find to feel almost surrounded by Nate as he sucks his cock, and that’s his favorite feeling in the world.

Nate is over and above and around him, wrapping his hands around Ray’s neck, breathing heavy against Ray’s hair. The ache in his jaw and his neck is worth it for the heady feeling of hearing all the small hitches in breath, all the gasps of Ray’s name hidden against his skin, feeling the minute clenches of Nate’s fingers on his neck, the quiver in Nate's stomach and thighs as he holds himself up, the puffs of breath that become harder and harder as he falls apart at Ray’s hands – or mouth. 

Ray can always tell when Nate is close by the grip on neck, the labored breathing against his temple, and the stream of combining curses with ‘Baby’ and ‘Ray’ and ‘God’. He brings his hands up to grip Nate’s hips to keep him from thrusting too much as he comes with a final moan and shiver, bending almost in half. 

With a final kiss to the head of the cock, Ray backs up, not as inclined to the overstimulating torture Nate often likes to put Ray through, a surprising thing Ray had learned he liked way more than he’d ever expected himself to. 

Once he’s made it through the aftershocks and caught his breath, Nate lays down beside him, slotting his legs between Ray’s as they kiss languidly, sweet, soft kisses that never fail to raise goosebumps on Ray’s skin.

“Ya know, Valentine’s Day is coming up,” Nate says after several minutes, moving back a fraction from the kiss.

Ray settles his arm around Nate’s waist and rests his head against his shoulder. He goes through the days in his head and can’t fault Nate’s claim.

“It is.”

“So, did you want to do anything for it?”

Ray snorts. “Yeah, you know me, I go all in for that fake romantic bullshit. I’m all about making sure those first quarter market sales stay high. How about some cheap, crumbly chocolate, or some of those chalky little hearts that say ‘Kiss Me’? That’s the pinnacle of romantic gestures, isn’t it? Construction paper hearts that say ‘Be My Valentine’, it’s all just tomorrow’s garbage waiting to happen.”

“So…that’s a no then for making Valentine’s plans,” Nate says with humor in his voice.

Ray looks up at that. “Oh, I mean, if you want to we totally can. I can even get you some of those packages of cards, do you want Star Wars themed or Barbie?”

Nate grins and hugs him closer. “I don’t think I want to consider the psychology of why all your Valentine’s Day celebration knowledge seems to be stuck in the 5th grade, but I had just been thinking we could go out to dinner or something. We never really go out on real dates.”

Ray smirks. “You’re just hoping to get me out of my pants afterward.”

“Yeah, you caught me,” Nate deadpans back, reaching down to grip Ray’s spent cock that is resting against his thigh. “I know for a fact it doesn’t take dinner to get you out of your pants.”

Ray laughs, though it turns into a groan when Nate doesn’t take his hand away and he tucks his face into Nate’s neck.

“Are you saying I’m easy?”

“Yes.”

“Good, cause I am,” he says before Nate leans down to catch his lips in a much less soft kiss this time.

 

“Do you want me to walk you?” Nate asks an hour later as he watches Ray dress.

Ray pulls his shirt over his head and grins down at where Nate is barely being covered by his sheet. He bites his lip to remind himself that they really can’t go another round tonight.

“No, it’s ok, cause then I’d just want to walk you back and then we’d get caught in a cycle of us just walking back and forth and I need to sleep at some point. Maybe I’ll make Brad walk with me so we can talk or whatever.”

Nate grins and reaches out for Ray to step back toward the bed, bending down to give him one last kiss. Nate smiles and leans up as much as he can into it.

“You’re gonna need to put clothes on,” Ray tells him as he pulls away.

Nate tilts his head slightly in a silent question.

“I’m not gonna be able to concentrate on anything else knowing you’re over here completely naked. So, you’re definitely gonna need to not be,” he explains.

Nate nods sagely. “Well, we wouldn’t want that. I’ll definitely make sure to put something on.”

Ray kisses him one more time before backing up and making his way to the door.

“Text me when you get there, please,” Nate calls after him.

“Yes, dear,” he says, closing the door behind him.

When he walks back into the living room he notices one significant absence.

“Where’s Brad?” he asks, grabbing his coat.

“He left, not long after Nate went all knight in shining armor and you went off to go suck his brain out of his dick I’d guess,” Poke responds.

Ray grins and sends an exaggerated wink to Poke, who just shakes his head and goes back to looking at the TV.

“Wait, he left as in left? Or he sulked off to his room?” 

“As in left the house,” Lilley responds.

“Yeah, he sat here for a couple minutes not saying anything and then he just got up and walked out without a word,” Kocher explains.

Ray frowns, not knowing where Brad could have run off to, especially if he had left two hours ago. 

He waves to his friends, making a quick exit before Rudy can get up to hug him goodbye or something, and makes his way toward campus.

As he walks he pulls his phone out, clenching his fingers from the bitter chill of the air, before pulling up Brad’s name. There are three texts from Brad that had been sent over the past couple of weeks that Ray never got around to responding to, and his stomach sinks to look at them now. He knows Nate had been right, Ray had been a jerk to Brad all because of his commitment issues, which, while shitty, isn’t really deserving of feeling like he’s losing his best friend over. 

Walt hasn’t asked Ray to take a side, hasn’t expected or even acted like he wants that. Ray is the one who has been openly taking this the hardest. He sighs and sends a text.

Ray:  
_Hey whered you run off to?_

He bites his lip looking down at his phone before deciding to send off another one.

Ray  
_Meet for coffee tomorrow, your treat!_

By the time he reaches his building, Brad hasn’t texted back. He’s not shocked, if Brad is choosing to avoid everyone, Ray will just hunt him down tomorrow and make him talk.

Ray is distracted enough by these thoughts that he’s forgotten that he’d left his keys at the dorm earlier. He takes a chance and isn’t disappointed when the door is unlocked. He considers the very real possibility that Nate and Brad and their roommates are having a bad influence on them with their apparent crusade against door locking.

Any thoughts of making a joke about it as he enters are wiped away though when he walks in the see Walt asleep, and he’s not alone.

Wrapped around him in what can only imply a more conscious cuddling session earlier, is Brad’s huge form, barely fitting on Walt’s bed with him. Brad has taken to nearly surrounding Walt in their sleep, arms curled up around him, leg thrown over both of Walt’s, his nose pressed into Walt’s hair. They both look completely content.

So, Ray does something completely uncharacteristic of himself. He backs up the way he came in, shutting the door softly behind himself.

He grins and shakes his head, walking back down the hall to the elevators.

Ray:  
_Can I stay with you tonight?_

Ray texts Nate as he makes his way back down.

When he steps back outside his phone lights up.

Nate:  
_Of course, is everything ok?_

Ray:  
_Yeah I think everything is definitely gonna be ok_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is from Walt's POV taking place before the end scene.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What takes place between Brad and Walt before Ray finds them

It’s too early to go to sleep. It’s too early, but Walt is genuinely considering it.

He’s finished all the homework he has due, he even started on some reading for next week. He has tried to watch a movie and two different TV shows but none were able to hold his interest. 

He had even sat and talked with Jeff in the cafeteria for longer than he normally would. 

For some reason, Jeff has decided that any and all of his gay experimentation should be done with Walt. They’d made out one-time last year and now whenever Jeff has a problem with a girlfriend he seeks Walt out, afraid that his ‘strange, homosexual infatuation’ with Walt is the cause. That’s how bored Walt had been, that he’d allowed a conversation with this guy to go on longer than the amount of time it takes him to walk away, which is normally how he deals with Jeff.

He regrets turning Garza down on going out tonight, but he’s also not really willing to change out of the old, oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt he’s been lounging in all evening.

So, just going to sleep and trying again tomorrow feels like the best solution.

That is until there’s a knock on the door.

He hesitates, worried that it’ll just be Jeff again, trying to have another deep discussion on sexuality and his apparent existential crisis brought on by having liked Walt’s tongue in his mouth, as well as his continued suggestion of them fucking so that he can know for sure if it’s something he actually wants.

Walt doesn’t know how many ways he can tell a guy that he’s not interested in being a part of his experimentation, but he still sighs and gets up to answer the door. At least it’s something to do.

So, it’s a surprise when he opens the door and sees the only other person he’d rather see less than Jeff right now.

“Uh, hey,” he greets Brad, after ten seconds of just staring at each other. “Ray isn’t here.

Brad grins and rubs a hand along the back of his neck. “I know, I came here to talk to you.”

Something in Walt’s stomach begins to flutter and he’s suddenly very aware of the baggy sweats he’s wearing. He’s pretty sure he can’t just ask Brad to wait out in the hallway while he changes, so instead he turns and walks back into the room, a silent invitation for Brad to follow.

He sits down on his bed as he hears Brad close the door behind him and he tries to take a subtle, deep breath, reminding himself not get his hopes up with whatever this conversation might be about.

“Can I sit here?” Brad asks, motioning to Walt’s computer chair.

Walt nods, noting how large Brad looks in the small room. A strange thought passes through his mind, wondering how uncomfortable Brad had been when he’d lived in the dorms.

“So,” Brad starts, resting his elbows on his knees and looking right at Walt.

As always, with Brad’s intense stares, Walt can’t seem to make himself look away, and he can feel his heart beat just a little bit faster.

“So,” he repeats after a moment when Brad doesn’t continue.

Brad clears his throat and nods. “It’s been pointed out to me that you no longer feel comfortable coming over to the house ever since we…”

He trails off and Walt quirks an eyebrow.

“Since we fucked,” Walt finishes for him.

Brad grins. “Yeah. Right. And I just want you to know you’re still welcome to come over whenever you want.”

The fluttering in his stomach stops as everything inside of him sinks.

“That’s it?” 

Brad narrows his eyes, looking confused for a moment before nodding his head.

Walt pulls his legs up onto the bed to cross them and lets the sleeves of his sweatshirt fall to cover his hands as he tries to steal his face into something that doesn’t mirror the sick feeling in his stomach and the sharp pain in his chest.

“Well, thanks. You didn’t really need to come all the way over to tell me that,” he finally says, as he tucks his arms around himself.

Brad shrugs, but his eyes are still narrowed like he’s watching every movement Walt makes. Walt has liked that kind of undivided attention from Brad in the past, has liked feeling like Brad could read him like a book, now he doesn’t want Brad to see any part of him.

Walt hadn’t meant to fall for Brad Colbert. He hadn’t had any real dating plans when he came to college, didn’t have any experiences he’d been hoping to partake in or a certain number of partners he wanted to go through or even a desire for a relationship. He’d come to college wanting to get his degree, make some friends, have fun, and maybe hook up with some guys. 

But when Ray, the strange, opinionated guy in their shared writing course his second semester, had attached himself to Walt and decided they were friends Walt had taken it all in stride, enjoying Ray’s energy and sense of humor. When he’d introduced Walt to his best friend, Brad, Walt had been smitten almost immediately. 

At first, he’d just been attracted to Brad, had been interested in hooking up, and the way Brad tended to look at him sometimes he had been pretty sure the feeling was mutual. But the more they’d hung out and still nothing happened between them the more Walt had begun to realize that he didn’t just like Brad because he was hot, he wanted to mean something to Brad, the way Brad was starting to mean something to him.

So, he’d played it coy where normally he’d have been more direct, and he’d tried to find a good balance of keeping Brad interested while also not wanting to put out an ‘up for anything’ kind of vibe, despite the fact that he kind of was. It wasn’t the way he was used to, wasn’t how he felt comfortable pursuing a relationship with anyone, but he hadn’t known what else to do.

When Brad had kissed him, it felt like a relief from the tightrope walk Walt had been trying to manage for over a year. He’d nearly melted into the touch, just ready for the stupid game to be over. It had been nearly everything he’d been dreaming about. He’s used to guys telling him that he’s attractive, but with Brad, he had felt worshipped. He’d nearly gotten emotional from the adoring way Brad touched him and kissed him and looked at him. If Walt were a more sappy person he’d say it felt like Brad loved him.

Reality had come crashing back down on him later that morning when the alarm on his phone had woken him up - just three hours after he finally fell asleep - and Brad had been gone. He suddenly remembered why he’d been avoiding it for so long. Because of Brad’s constant insistence that relationships are pointless, and because of Brad’s apparent desire to fuck half the student body, Walt hadn’t wanted to be a part of that. 

When Brad hadn’t reached out that day, and when he saw him with a girl at Matilda’s, Walt knew he had just been another in a long line of insignificant fucks for Brad. He’d felt pathetic and embarrassed that he’d thought he could be anything more. He hadn’t even told Ray when he’d gone to get tested. They’d used condoms, but he thought maybe it’d ease the sharp pain in his lungs. He’d tested negative for everything, but that pain didn’t go away.

And now Brad’s here, letting Walt know that he doesn’t mind if he hangs out with him and his friends still like Walt is desperate enough to put himself through that humiliation.

“I’ll see you around, I guess,” Walt says when Brad just keeps staring at him, hoping Brad will get the hint and leave.

“You’re mad at me.”

Walt shakes his head. “I’m not.”

It’s not a lie. The only person he’s mad at is himself. 

Brad hadn’t promised anything, Brad hadn’t been anything but perfectly clear with what he’d wanted, verbally. It had been all those nonverbal things that had messed with Walt’s brain and caused him to think that there was something between them that wasn’t. But it’s not Brad’s fault that Walt couldn’t control his crush.

“So, you’ll come over tomorrow to watch the game?”

“Probably not,” Walt says, looking down at the sleeves still covering his hands.

Brad’s shoulders fall. “You just said-“

“Look, tell everyone that you tried to make nice and I’m being a jerk about it. I’ll even talk to Ray and tell him to back off. Ok? Does that fix your problem?” Walt asks, feeling the anger that he’d denied having rushing up to the surface with every passing minute of Brad being incapable of grasping Walt’s point of view.

“No, that doesn’t fix anything. I don’t give a shit what those guys think. I care that just because we fucked we apparently can’t be friends anymore.”

Walt nearly laughs. “It’s not like you and I were ever really friends, Brad.”

He goes to roll his eyes, but when he sees the almost stricken look on Brad’s face he stops. 

“Oh,” Brad says, rubbing his hands on his knees a few times before standing up. 

Walt can feel that clench in his chest again for a whole new reason now.

“Wh-I…I mean,” he struggles to find words as Brad gets up to leave.

“I’ll just…”

“C’mon, Brad, do you even know anything about me?” Walt asks, and as he speaks he realizes that maybe he should have thought about that question much sooner.

Brad turns and his blank face makes Walt’s stomach turn.

“I know that you’re allergic to peanuts. That you used to want to be a singer. I know that your dad taught you to hunt when you were young, and you like shooting guns but you hated when you killed anything. I know that you worry that not enough people who are in your major are there for the right reasons and that if half the people you have classes with do end up becoming teachers then the already fucked educational system is doomed. And I know that there has never been a person who has met you that didn’t immediately like you, because you’re a good person, but most of them will never know that sometimes you can be a dick.”

Walt’s eyes widen as Brad lists off things that he can’t imagine he’s ever outright told Brad, that most of them would have to have been garnered through stories to the group and conjecture. He can feel his heart beat pick up once again and he’s nearly speechless.

Brad studies him for just a moment before he huffs and makes his way back to the door. 

“Wait,” Walt says, struggling to extract himself from his bed. 

Brad has barely cracked the door open when Walt slams into his back, making Brad hit the door, shutting it in the process.

“Wait,” he says again, resting his forehead on Brad’s back. “I’m sorry.”

Brad doesn’t push off the door and shove Walt away immediately, which is a good sign. 

“I shouldn’t have said that. You are my friend. We are friends.”

Sighing, Brad takes a step back slowly and Walt follows, letting him move away from the door again. When he turns to look at Walt, his face is no longer closed off, his eyes have that intense, studying gaze again and Walt feels like he’s reading his mind.

Walt doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know where to go from this point. He probably should have just let Brad leave and let him stay mad at him, but in the moment, the idea of that happening hurt too much.

And so, they just stand and stare at each other for over a minute until Brad finally reaches out to grab Walt’s wrist, pushing the sleeve back up so it’s no longer covering his hand. He drops that arm and moves to do the same with the other hand. 

He can’t help but watch Brad as he touches him, can’t help but think about before, how he’d laced their fingers together, holding Walt’s hands above his head as he’d fucked into him. Walt can feel a shiver go up his spine at the memory and it’s like Brad knows when their eyes meet again.

There’s no conscious thought that runs through his mind, and yet, like an instinct, he knows it’s coming when Brad’s lips crash against his own. His arms immediately wrap around Brad’s neck, his mouth opens and he sighs as he falls into the kiss like it’s something they’ve done a hundred times. 

Brad’s pace is hurried and demanding and Walt matches him. He scratches his fingers through Brad’s hair, pulling him down even further to get a better angle. Brad groans against his mouth at Walt’s own roughness and Walt loves this, loves how responsive Brad seems to be with everything Walt decides to do. It’s certainly a confidence boost to know that whatever he’s doing, he’s apparently doing it right.

After a couple minutes, he feels himself being spun around and slammed into the door, he gasps and releases Brad for just a second, but it’s long enough for Brad to move down focusing on his neck, pushing aside the thick material of Walt’s hoodie as much as he can. 

“So fucking cute,” Brad murmurs against his jaw and Walt rolls his eyes but can’t help the small smile that grows.

Brad moves back up to continue kissing him for few moments before pulling back just a fraction to speak against his lips.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he says, words vibrating against his lips before licking back into his mouth before Walt can even comprehend the words.

Walt is only able to get out a muffled, questioning noise around Brad’s tongue, but Brad seems to understand it, as he moves his hands from Walt’s waist, down over his hips to grip the back of his thighs. He lifts up and Walt automatically wraps his legs around Brad’s hips, clutching him tighter with his arms at the feeling of being lifted off the ground.

“What the hell?” Walt pulls his mouth away, nearly hugging Brad’s face against his in his tight embrace.

Brad chuckles. “Didn’t want to bend anymore,” he explains, kissing along Walt’s jaw and chin and neck again.

Walt huffs. “I nearly bit your tongue off. We could’ve just used the bed.”

Kissing him one more time, Brad hums against his lips. “That’s not a bad idea.”

Only, instead of letting Walt back down, Brad turns them and walks back into the room as Walt holds on for dear life.

“I can’t believe you’re carrying me,” Walt says, not sure if the indignation he’s displaying is really just a front to not show just how hot he finds this.

It’s not that he didn’t already know that Brad could, in theory, hold him. There had been a good amount of manhandling and maneuvering the night they got together that proved Brad could lift Walt. But nothing like this, which is now just flooding his mind with wondering if Brad could hold him up as he fucked him against the wall. 

He doesn’t let that thought linger for too long as Brad gently deposits him onto his bed, following close behind and slotting their mouths together again.

Walt sighs, already starting to feel the ache in his jaw and the raw, tingling feeling in his lips, but he’s not ready to slow down yet. From the way Brad is still gripping his thigh, and angling his head to get as close as possible, Walt can guess that Brad isn’t ready to slow down either.

Still, after another few minutes, Walt has to roll his head to the side, detaching Brad’s mouth from his own. He’s breathing hard when he turns back to look at Brad, whose mouth is as red and swollen as Walt’s feels. Walt licks his lip and watches as Brad’s heated gaze follows the movement of his tongue. The warmth pooling in his stomach grows. His breath nearly hitches when Brad brings one of his hands up to slide his thumb along Walt’s lower lip. He watches Brad’s eyes, following his finger as it drags Walt’s lip down for a moment, before releasing it. 

It’s when Brad looks up again to meet his eyes that all the breath in Walt’s chest comes rushing out. Because the look Brad gives him is no longer heated like he wants to consume him. Now, he’s looking at Walt like he’s something precious and beautiful. He feels like his heart wants to beat right out of his chest when Brad looks at him like that.

It flashes him right back to the other night when Brad had made him feel wanted and adored in a way he’s never experienced before. He’d felt like he could do no wrong when Brad looked at him like that. But the memory quickly fades and Walt is reminded of what is really going on here. Remembering that none of that is real.

“Shit,” he mutters as he rolls and maneuvers himself out from under Brad and off the bed.

Brad groans and lets himself fall to where Walt had been laying. “What’s wrong?”

“What the fuck are we doing?” Walt asks, attempting to adjust his sweatshirt to cover the erection that Brad had definitely already felt against his hip.

“Well, we were making out,” Brad says, turning to look at Walt.

Walt wraps his arms around himself and backs up until he’s sitting on Ray’s bed.

“And after that?”

“I hadn’t really been thinking that far ahead,” Brad admits. “Probably some variation of dick stimulation that gets us both off.”

Walt huffs. “I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about after that. What am I to you? Am I your friend or just some guy you wanna fuck?”

Brad sighs and turns to lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Can’t you be both?”

He turns to see Walt’s frown and quickly corrects himself. “You’re my friend.”

Walt scowls. “You didn’t text me or call me or try to reach out at all afterward. I woke up and you were gone. What kind of bullshit friendship is this?”

Brad looks back up at the ceiling. “I had training that morning,” he explains.

“After two hours of sleep?”

“Yeah, it was rough.”

“And the reason you didn’t even try to get in touch with me?”

“You didn’t try either, ya know. I don’t have any missed texts or calls from you,” Brad says, turning his accusing eyes back to Walt.

Walt huffs and rolls his eyes. “It’s different.”

“Why is it different?”

“Because if I texted you the next day I’d have just looked desperate. And then I saw you that night with that girl and I got the message pretty loud and clear that anything between us was all in my head.” He wants to rub at his chest as he flashes back to the memory of that night, seeing Brad so lost in another person, looking like the night before hadn’t meant anything to Brad the way it had to Walt.

Brad finally looks somewhat sheepish over his actions for the first time, but Walt gets no satisfaction from it.

“If I’d known you were there I wouldn’t have… “

Walt continues to stare, waiting for Brad to finish his excuse. When nothing comes, he sighs.

“If you had known I was there what would you have done?”

“I don’t know,” Brad admits after several seconds.

“Right.”

“I wouldn’t have done anything in front of you, I know that.”

Walt shakes his head. “So, you would have just left with her sooner? Not hooked up with her at all? Why? To spare my feelings?”

Brad narrows his eyes at him for a moment, probably wondering if Walt knows that he’d taken the girl home or if he’s just guessing.

Unfortunately, Ray had been halfway through telling the hilarious story of Poke freaking out about Brad getting a blowjob on the couch when he’d realized that maybe Walt wasn’t the person to talk to about that. 

Brad frowns and looks away again, apparently at a loss for an answer.

After they sit in silence for a while Walt sighs and stands back up. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I…I mean…I just don’t know why this has to be so complicated.”

Walt hates how much that hurts him.

“I’m sorry that my feelings are so complicated.”

“That’s not what I meant. Despite what you may think about me I don’t have all this shit figured out either. I’m kind of just going with what feels right in the moment.”

Brad scrubs his hands over his eyes like he’s trying to wipe away a headache.

Walt steps closer to the bed, arms still crossed as he holds himself back a little from where Brad is laying. He honestly wishes it didn’t have to be so complicated as well, wishes he could just take what Brad is willing to give him and forget about the rest of it.

“I don’t know that I can do the friends with benefits thing,” Walt admits, and Brad finally looks up at him.

Moving to sit up, swinging his legs to hang over the side of the bed, Brad keeps his eyes on him as he says, “ok.”

When Walt doesn’t say anything else, Brad starts to stand up, but Walt reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder, making him sit back down. The small bit of panic that one move stirs in Walt is enough to make him consider his limited options.

“But…maybe I can try,” Walt says, ignoring every rational thought running through his head.

Brad doesn’t look particularly convinced either, though he still reaches out to grab Walt’s waist and pull him closer so that his head can rest against Walt’s stomach.

“Some ground rules?” Walt stutters out, trying to ignore Brad’s touch and keep his head about him as he tries not to talk himself out of this very stupid plan of his.

Brad huffs out a laugh but nods.

“Either of us can end this at any time for any reason, and unless it’s a really shitty reason then we’re not allowed to stop being friends.”

“Agreed.”

Walt wants to roll his eyes at Brad’s quick acquiescence even though he’s the one that made the rule up.

“Rule two, no hooking up with people when I’m around, or at least if you know I’m there don’t throw it in my face.”

Brad looks up at him and frowns. “Same goes for you.”

Walt hadn’t really been thinking about how he will also be free to be with anyone he wants, the idea isn’t all that appealing to him, but he vows to be open-minded. So, he nods and Brad’s hand curls around him a little more.

“Rule three, we both get tested regularly.”

“I already do,” Brad assures him.

“And you let me know if there’s even a slight chance of risk.”

“Ok.”

“Rule four.”

Brad groans and pulls Walt down so that he’s straddling Brad’s lap. 

“How many rules are there?” Brad asks before pressing his lips to Walt’s.

Walt kisses him back and grins. “I don’t know, I’m making them up on the spot. Now, rule four, no fucking me the same day you’ve fucked someone else. You don’t need to tell me every time you’ve hooked up with someone, but if I ask please let me know.”

Brad’s arms tighten around him and he kisses Walt again, teasing at the seam of his lips with his tongue for a moment before pulling back again.

“Rule five,” Brad says, and Walt quirks an eyebrow. “Don’t worry about other people when we’re together.”

Walt moves to stand again, but Brad keeps his hold around him tight. 

“If I’m with you it’s because I want to be, don’t think about who I might be with otherwise. We’re doing this because it’s fun and the sex is incredible, and because I like spending time with you. Don’t let yourself worry about all the rest of it.”

Walt wants to crack Brad’s brain open and look inside, see if there’s something blocking the part of his brain that understands how human emotions work and understanding that they don’t operate under regular logic. It’s the whole reason he’s agreeing to this friends with benefits thing in the first place.

Instead, Walt says, “ok,” making a promise he knows he won’t be able to keep. But for now, it feels alright. 

For now, with Brad holding him tight and kissing him and making plans for the future, it makes Walt feel like maybe, eventually, they’ll get to have one.

He reminds himself that he’s young, he doesn’t need any sort of committed relationship. He can have some of the parts of Brad that he wants, and he doesn’t need to worry about the rest. He’s got more than enough on his plate with school, he doesn’t need more stress that a relationship can often cause.

By the time Brad has Walt on his back again, fingers leaving imprints on his skin, mouth hot and firm against his own, he has almost convinced himself that all of that is true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, this paints a less pretty picture than chapter one left us with. But I have a journey planned for these two, and we already know a little bit about their futures from Perfect Fit so...hopefully that makes this ending not quite so bad.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
